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Sunday Writing Ex number five!

Write a short dialouge between a grocery store/retail shop clerk and a customer.

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On January 3rd, 2006 05:05 pm (UTC), b_schmilsson commented:
How to get fired from a job.
Ha ha ha, this will be fun!!:

Clerk: Your total today is $192.52.
Customer: Ok, I'm going to use my card.
Clerk: If you could please slide it through the card reader.
Customer: What button do I hit?
Clerk: Well, if it's debit hit the debit, and hit the credit if it's a Visa, Mastercard, etc.
Customer: It's a card.
Clerk: It's a what card?
Customer: Bridge Card.
Clerk: I'm sorry, I'm still having a hard time hearing you. Are you using foodstamps?
Customer: Yes. And it's not working!!
Clerk: Well...I need to redo the transaction. The ONLY way we can process those is if we know beforehand because they are rung up differently than credit and debit cards.
Customer: You know, you have a lot of nerve. You think I *like* this?? I'm disabled and you're DEGRADING me. You think you're so much better than me, but you aren't. I can't help the way I am, I don't want this, but I need it.
Clerk: I'm sorry. I don't understand...
Customer: It's VERY derogatory to call them Foodstamps.
Clerk: Um....they *are* foodstamps ma'am. I'm not making a judgement on you and whether or how you use them. It's just that I need to know if you use them so I can get the register to ring it up properly.
Customer: No, you are RUDE. They are BRIDGE cards.
Clerk: Well, honestly, I've never heard that term used before. Where I come from they've always been foodstamps.
Customer: You were trying to INSULT me. You don't even KNOW me, so you shouldn't try to JUDGE me. I'm talking to your manager!
Clerk: Look Ma'am--I didn't mean ANYTHING by it, other than helping you to try to get your groceries run up. We are obviously busy today, so I'm just trying to do my job as efficiently as possible to get you outta my line so you can go on with the rest of your day. I didn't mean anything dirty by calling them foodstamps. If you feel ashamed of them, that's not my fault. It's what they are. Plenty of people need them, there's no shame in that. You can go ahead and talk to my manager, but that still doesn't change the fact that you're a loony bitch who is in here every other week fucking up the lines 'cuz you STILL don't know how to use your FOODSTAMPS. I had NO CLUE you were "disabled", aside from the fact that you let your 13 yr. old daughter dress like a harlet. Maybe if she had some more clothes on she'd be warm enough to stop shivering so she could help you use your government handout. At least you have a fucking job with the university. I don't care WHAT you do, even being a janitor will give you more money that I make at this hellhole putting up with contrite asshats like you. Now, get the fuck outta my line with your foodstamps. Beotch.
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On January 3rd, 2006 05:20 pm (UTC), bigfreakinj86 commented:
Clerk: Is that everything?
Customer: Yeah that should do it.
Clerk: Okay, let me just ring up your total...crap, the register went out again. Please just hold on for a second, it should come back up once I reboot.
Customer: Can't you just do the math in your head?
Clerk: It'll be up in a second.
Customer: Look, I've got better things to do that stand around here and wait for your machine to come back up.
Clerk: Yes, why I suppose in the time that your spending bitching about the register, you could add the total up in your head all by yourself.
Customer: I beg your pardon? Did you just say BITCHING?!?! You don't swear at me. And for the record, its your job to add these totals.
Clerk: I'm a store clerk, not a calculator. Here...the registers back up...theres your total.
Customer: Whatever...
Clerk: And here's your change.
Customer: How DARE you give me a canadian penny!!! You can keep that bullshit. (chucks it at him)
Clerk: WHY YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!!! (beats the bitch profusely and tosses her out the fucking window.) I TAKE IT BACK, I"M NOT A CLERK! I'M A TELLER, AND I'M TELLIN YOU TO STAY THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!! (panting heavily) whew...I am so arrested.

Actually to be quite honest, this is somewhat of a mixture of stuff that happened to me while working at McDonalds, minus the beating the bitch and tossing her through a window, but THERE WERE DAYS!!!! Oh, there were days...
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